"-- it is the breath of the Forbidden Wing...essence of all the still figures waiting for him inside, daring him to enter and find a secret he cannot survive."
- Thomas Pynchon
Happy Monday! Did you enjoy the weekend? Did you fall in Love, in Like, in Lust, in abject Apathy towards one, or perhaps, if you're a contemptuously ambitious individual, many things. I stand, unrelenting in my belief of the myriad of truths hidden in the fallow fields of dissatisfaction, so if you are the latter ilk: Go For It!
And if you want me to take myself less seriously -- this was part of my brunch @ The Publican yesterday:
- Large Bowl of Frites, 2 fried eggs on top, volcanic side of Garlic Aioli
I practice what I preach and breach no contracts in the process -- and take solace you'll have full access, safe-passage, socioeconomic asylum to assuage any redacted mishaps and happenstance.
Film. Believe it or not I fall in ruts/stints/patterns of virtually no viewings. But I'm no historian, as Henry Miller would espouse we need to live before we try and make some sort of contribution, at least in this field. Last night I watched The Double Life Of Veronique circa 1991: a tale 2 women, one Polish, one French, twin identities, dual life-essence, split in half; and there's much to be said over a Spiritual Bond as this. Please watch this film -- I've a feeling it will you make you smile.
And I too want to make you smile, every, single, last one of you. Which brings us to the subject of Today: Motivations. The Skeleton Key allowing entry to all the deep-seeded compulsions to do, exactly what it is, we want to do. And yes, I want to make you smile
I want, no, no, I need to make you feel good about yourselves...
Why Film? And why has 10 years passed, come full-circle, leading me to face the unreality, the inexorable vocational tractor-beam such as this...?
For so much of my life, and this isn't deriding anyone, anything any social situation I've had the pleasure of participating in, but there's been insurmountable evidence, facilitated by the cinematic style my thoughts come into being, of something lackluster, less-than, perhaps failure isn't the best word, but it's the first word that comes to mind (I'm aping Palahniuk on that last one). Now, I'm not eschewing the truly sublime moments of my experience, not in the least, but I'll ask you now to focus, to harness the residual feelings of every important talk, every apical chapter in your life, every time you had something so powerful, so devastating to tell someone and your once mighty Lightning Bolt sent priority mail from Mount Olympus fell flat, effete, static electricity amidst the contents of your dryer.
It didn't turn out the way you'd hoped, did it? Where was your catharsis, your answers, your spiritual portage between rivers? I know this feeling and this, this is what I want to eschew in my work. The simple fact, truths, maxims quietly convey these moments are simply few and far between, and the confluence of all parties investing themselves on similar wavelengths is perhaps a path less traversable then we originally thought, hoped, longed for.
And this is OK. Our self-worth is not damaged, gilded by any means, not one shred. But Film, film!, in this world we can play by our rules, make things as we see fit. Every break-up, every feeling of alienation, blissful aftershocks of connection can be done a very real, exacting justice. And this isn't fiction: it's the way we all think, feel, and it deserves to be recognized, given its proper credence. The inside-joke, the omnipresent need for something Relatable transcends/permeates Drama, Comedy, Horror, Action: nothing has to be pigeonholed, ever. I want to edify, confirm the swirling mass of feelings, unnamable self-induced, self-promoted themes you perhaps found yourself at a loss to share with others.
This is the Human Condition -- and it must be requited. My promulgation or proclivities to be a proponent of such are nothing new. People like: David Foster Wallace, Haruki Murakami, Henry Miller, Bret Easton Ellis have championed such abstruse causes and literally forged a better life for people like me.
Don't you deserve to feel good about yourself?
xoxoxoo,
-m
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