On Goonies, Plot Holes and Pilots

Fiction-Science: the high-falutin' and fun way to say you're messin' with shit.

A friend of mine, while I was over helping set up her new Macbook Pro  (such a sexy machine, the computer, not my friend, silly goose!), had The Goonies on network television.  It was the third act, they'd just discovered Willy's Ship.  And in a relatively serious analysis, she began breaking down all the Plot Holes, Unrealities and generally Farcical elements of the story.  It was gold -- Fucking Comedic Gold.   Par Example:

- Why'd they let the ship sail away with all the treasure?

- The authorities would never let them keep any of the treasure just cause they found it!

 I encouraged her to write Richard Donner to tell him what a pile of Horseshit his film was.

And while this begs the question, or perhaps the call to mine the endless tunnels of potential of picking apart my generations favorite childhood films (Labyrinth I hear you calling!), I'll keep it simple and leave you with this premise for a sequel:

The Goonies 2: After capturing One-Eyed Willy's Ship twenty years after it set sail, our protagonists and their families are locked in an intense courtroom battle on who exactly gets to keep the treasure -- and that's it.  That's right, 2 and a half hours of John Grisham-y, Law & Order-y courtroom melodrama.  The kids appear finished: the local museum threatening to seize all treasure via some silly laws, until, Sloth, in an intense montage, passes the Bar Exam and jumps on board to save the day, reborn as a bad-ass, take-no-prisoners Attorney at Law.

No Whimsy, No Adventure...Just Hardcore Litigation.

Genius right? Can you imagine how pissed people would be if this was marketed incorrectly just to get people in the theater?  It's bliss, pure unadulterated bliss.

In other news, as a summer project, I'm going to write a Television Pilot.  I feel the medium, with the advent of neato interweb hijinks, is a strong environment to invest in.  Totally in the embryonic stages.  If anyone has any ideas I can swap for yard work or if you'd fancy I read you your favorite book in my sexy voice as you drift into otherwordly rest, I'm totally down.

No Mas Por Hoy!

xoxoxoox