I had an idea late last year of a scenario, a town hall meeting, where concerned citizens stepped forward to voice their opinion on the U.S. Economic Bailout Plan -- only to find everyone misunderstood what Bailout meant exactly, the marquee example: a forlorn film fanatic who thought Bailout was a Christian Bale Fanclub: Baleout!
I had an idea, I've had several, and occasionally we still miss the point, don't we? We bend the fractious remains, with the fervor of stoner college kids trying oh so desperately to invoke MacGyver and repair their broken Bong. But in the end our logic twisted, enmeshed in nonsensical, embellished intentions: my relationship's ended -- and perhaps more disrupting to the space-time continuum: I've shaved my Mustache.
And if you think I'm getting all Sex And The City on you -- go wrestle a platypus, in your underwear.
I'm single, clean-shaven and most likely will treat myself to sushi today and the green-flavored Kombucha -- then have a glass of champagne at work. Afterwards I'll read Raymond Carver short stories and fall asleep in a pile of my own tears, wearing a custom-fitted snorkel so not to drown, in my own tears that is, not emotional bile taking the Glass Elevator out of the Chocolate Factory -- right through the Goddamned Roof.
I'm gonna have a celebrity car wash fundraiser to get together the capital to film a recap of our Happiest Memory, and then sell it on ebay, but ironically, I'll only offer UPS Ground Shipping with NO tracking or delivery confirmation. I'm out there, pioneering, fled west, manning the Oregon Trail in a Zeppelin sipping Bourbon, laughing, because I know the rules, and the projects, stories, screenplays once thought quiescent will have their say, and it will be incisive, pointed, timeless.
I started working on Apartment Hunting once again: the characters through me a Welcome Back Shindig, but didn't spring for any party decorations when they knew how much I loved festooning open spaces with garishly gaudy shit. I'm going to take a chance and keep it a short film as well, because at this point I need finished work, I need to write; afterwards, if well-received I can always blow it up to a feature. It's going to be a blast -- stay tuned.
xoxox
-m
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